What Not to do When Lost
by Teefa and Co
Summary: Silly story that takes place in Chapter 8. What happens when Prier, Croix, and Homard try a new type of liqueur? You get chaos!


**What Not to do When Lost**

Night was falling upon the tiny band of six humans, three Nyanko, one fairy, and an assortment of trained monsters. They were in search of a cave that would connect the tiny island they were on to the long forgotten land of Fatima; as was deduced from the text Éclair had memorized. But with the darkness fast approaching, it was impractical to keep moving. So, Prier ordered a halt to make camp for the night.

"The last thing we need is to be lost," she stated, "If we can't find Fatima, we won't figure out what is going on with Noir and whatever that vision was about. Besides…if the Dark Prince is there…then we've got to take him out!" Silently she added that it would mean she would soon become the Maiden of Light. However, Culotte figured out what she meant because he could see the smirk on his sister's face.

They began creating a pit of stones to contain their fire and then placed sticks in the middle. As the mage, Culotte cast a Fire spell to light them up. Heck, it was either that or Croix's cigarette; but he wanted to conserve his supply incase they couldn't find civilization for awhile. Prier plain thought her crush was mad; why would he want to breathe in something so horrible. But she left those thoughts to herself and simply sat between him and Culotte. Her excuse was that she wanted to be next to her brother; or at least that's what she was "trying" to tell herself. She really wanted to be close to Croix.

"Well, how about we do something fun for the night? I propose we take out this little something special that I've been saving. You see, I was given it by this man for helping him defeat a Demon that was attacking his farm; he'd sheltered my crew for the night after the Escargot had been damaged in a storm. Never tried it before so I don't know how it tastes," Homard suggested. He then pulled out a bottle of fancy liquor from some foreign land; Prier could tell because of the unfamiliar wording on the label.

Alouette stood up with a stern look on her face; the one that she always used when scolding her hotheaded companion. She told Homard, "You can count me out! We really shouldn't be drinking some beverage with alcohol in it. The Goddess Poitreene tells us that as Sisters we must maintain temperance at all times. It says so right in the Holy Book; and I'll turn to the chapter if needed. Isn't that right Prier?"

Prier looked at Croix; who was reaching for a cup that Homard had poured. Her rebellious mind was already made up. "Come on Alouette; don't be a stick in the mud. I don't think that means we should never drink alcohol, just that we shouldn't over indulge. I'll just try a little bit of it. However, I don't want Culotte to have any; he's only twelve. And Éclair as well. They're not going to hold it in very well."

'I wouldn't trust you either Sis,' Culotte thought, 'You are a virgin drinker as well. But you'll never listen to my good advice. I'll just have to hope you don't ask for more that one cup.' He watched as Prier, Croix, and Homard toasted their imminent victory, and drank the stuff down. Then, they each decided to have seconds; Prier's eyes glossing over after that. Noticing she wasn't looking good, Homard smartly refused her a third, but still gave one more to him and Croix. And that's when all Hell broke loose.

Both men's eyes began to glaze like Prier's; Homard dropping the bottle, which immediately was broken, at Éclair's feet and Croix's cup spilled over Prier's clothes. Alouette, ever the strict matronly Sister, inspected the broken glass and pointed out the content to the still sober members. The proof of alcohol was at least twice the limit legally allowed in a Paprican drink; an attempt to reduce drunken brawls in the city streets. Culotte's eyes went wide; he wasn't about to like what would happen next.

But while the three were staring, Mrs. Bat and Bit Jr. let out screeches, and Bones Knight pointed his sword towards the trees. Éclair looked up, and began to blush. Homard had tossed off his shirt and jacket and climbed to a high up branch. He was using a roll of bread like a telescope to look off in the distance; as if he were on a sea going pirate ship without all of the fancy technology of the Escargot.

"Yo ho me hartiesh! Captain Homard here. We make land in about five hoursh so get ready. Theresh plenty of treasuresh awaiting us…" he managed to get out. Éclair saw the Chocolate Gang and Monya Monya were preparing a pile of leaves underneath the branch in case he fell. However, the only reason he was staying up was that TurboGhost and Burning Fire were throwing small Wind spells at him if ever he tilted to one side. Not that this helping hand was calming down the panicking Papillon; trying to reason with her master to get down from there at once. However, she didn't hit him so he didn't fall down.

She begged, "Please Captain Homard! If you fall you could get badly hurt. Come back to the ground and lie down. You'll feel better in the morning." Then, when she was nearly hit by a Wind spell, the fairy brought out her fan and slapped poor Burning Fire in the head. Which caused both monsters to cast Wind simultaneously to knock Papillon down to the ground herself so she'd stay out of their way.

However, the situation had turned from bad to worse. Homard was continuing his illusion that he was a seafaring pirate and began singing; rather off key since he was drunk. "Yo ho yo ho a piratesh life for me. Uh shomething and shomething and shomething and shomething, drink up me heartiesh yo ho! Uh shomething and shomething and shomething and shomething, drink up me heartiesh yo ho! Yo ho yo ho a piratesh life for me! Let'sh shail away for adventure and fortune; come along with me my crew!"

"Well this is a shock," Éclair said, "Who would have thought that Homard could sing so clearly while he was drunk. He probably has a nice voice when he's sober; I should get him to sing to me on a future occasion." She began blushing fiercely as she continued to stare at his antics up in the treetops.

"This is not a time to be joking. We need to get him down from there!" exclaimed Culotte.

Éclair's blush deepened as she reluctantly turned away from watching the smashed air pirate. She admitted, "You're right Culotte. He could hurt himself if he fell. Bear Socks! Go and pull Homard out of the tree." The Big Bear let out a small moan as he got up from his light nap. Then, he walked over to Éclair and began sniffing her over. She sighed; Prier's pet only responded to food. So the princess pulled out a small piece of jerky that Prier had given her earlier in case she got hungry when they weren't able to stop for lunch. After he'd eaten it, Bear Socks nodded and climbed the tree. Grabbing Homard by the seat of his pants, the Monster found himself able to drag the Escargot's captain down to the ground.

However, before Culotte could breathe a sigh of relief, he turned around. While they had been concerning themselves over Homard's well being, Prier and Croix had been left un-reigned in. The young man was currently moving his hands over Prier's body; examining every curve and listening to her moans of pleasure. "You know Prier…you shure are shexy. I could get ushed to shpending time with you!"

"If you think thish ish shexy…" Prier began, "Then let me show you shomething even better."

"Sister Alouette…I have a bad feeling about those words. My sister is crazy enough when she's sober; imagine her now completely plastered. Besides, both she and Croix have loose tongues now; they're not denying their feelings in this state. Them being incoherent as well spells out trouble," Culotte stated. Both of the girls with him were nodding their heads; expressions of worry crossing their faces.

Prier informed Croix, "I'll shing you a shong I heard. It'sh called 'I'm too Shexy.' Plush, I'll give you a represhentative dansh." Knowing what that meant, Culotte picked that time to tackle his sister and pin her to the ground. After giving a pleading expression, Éclair rushed over to help her friend. The last thing they really needed was for Prier to wake up after sleeping with Croix, think he'd taken advantage of her while drunk, and then proceed to beat the living snot out of one of their more reliable companions.

At the same time, Alouette smacked Croix on the head with the Holy Book, then proceeded to do the same to Prier; Homard already being out after Bear Socks brought him down to earth. Breathing a sigh of relief, she turned to Culotte and Éclair. "Don't tell any of them what happened last night; we'll have Prier's temper flying if she thinks Croix was hitting on her. Let's just make sure they're all safe."

S...S

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhh…" moaned Prier the next morning, "Why do I have such a killer headach? All I remember was that Homard offered us a little of that stuff he found." She turned to see her companions all still sleeping; it did shock her that she was the first up. In truth, Homard and Croix were sleeping off the drinks still while Culotte, Alouette, and Éclair had stayed up half the night in case someone woke and started having another episode. All of the monsters were curled up in a corner along with the Chocolat Gang, and Papillon was still knocked out following the Wind incident; she would later smack both of them over the head ten times in anger over that one. Prier wondered why nobody had yet to get up as well.

"Man, this is the worst hangover I ever had. Well…that I can remember. What did we do last night Prier?" inquired Croix. Seeing him up, the girl blushed. She watched as his face transformed into the most clueless expression she'd ever seen on a man; he obviously was confused as to her reaction.

Prier told him, "I really can't remember. But man do I have a killer headache. Is that what a hangover is like? I've never gotten drunk before so I'm not the most reliable source to figure out about these sorts of things." She dug in her pack and grabbed some aspirin; taking two and handing the bottle to Croix. Both took their canteens and drank down the medicine; hoping to clear their heads a little bit.

He nodded. "Yup, that's what a hangover is like. Man, you only drank two cups. I only had three of them. Something like that has to be illegal by at least five national standards. We need to find some civilization soon or I'm going to hurl. Where in the world can this cave that Éclair spoke about be found?"

Silence was held between the two for a short time; both too nervous to tell the other something. Fear was gripping Prier's body; this was her first crush and she was scared of having her heart broken if Croix found out that he had a lover before losing his memory. Croix on the other hand was scared of himself; his dreams gave him a sense of a dark secret that would hurt his friends. They felt it wouldn't do any good to tell the other their feelings; it would end up hurting themselves or their partner in the long run if they did get together. And so they missed a chance at speaking their minds and finding peace within their souls. Prier would later regret that decision; thinking it had prevented her from better helping Croix.

"Well, let's wake the others up," Croix finally stated, "Then we can get going towards that cave."

"Sure, sounds right," Prier replied as she began shaking Alouette and Culotte up; the boy had decided to move himself closer to his crush so he could protect her if something went wrong. Croix went to work on getting Homard back to reality while Culotte rushed over to help Éclair after Prier had waken him. The three who hadn't gotten drunk the previous night stared at the three who had acted idiotically.

Before Alouette could open her mouth, Prier snapped, "Don't you dare say 'I told you so' because we didn't know how powerful that stuff was. I only had two small cups which shouldn't do anything to a person. Let's just get going; I want to reach Fatima as soon as possible to become the Maiden of…I mean to find out how to fight our enemies." She stormed off into the jungle; Croix following close behind.

Culotte patted the older woman on the shoulder as Éclair, Homard, the monsters, and Homard's crew continued on. "Don't worry; I know you were right. Prier just doesn't want to admit that you were worried about them. Once we confirm your vision, then perhaps she'll calm down a little more." He then began walking after the others; Alouette having to sigh before she too took the path ahead of the camp.

'That's not what concerns me Culotte,' she thought, 'I had a dream last night. In it, Darkness was spreading out over our team and I hear everyone screaming. Then, I felt a light begin to emit from my body and everything went black. Could the dream be a sign? I fear there is danger ahead of us and Prier needs to gain a little more responsibility before it happens. For some reason, I think her fate and the victory over our enemy will be closely intertwined; not as a Maiden of Light, but as Prier of La Pucelle.'

* * *

**Teefa's Last Words...**

Just a small piece of humor that I concocted. I was bored, and got strange visions of Prier and the others having a little too much to drink. But since I'm sure Croix and Homard have drank before and would be responsible with it, I created a drink well over the amount they were used to.

Though I wrote this awhile ago, I was too lazy to post it earlier. However, that worked out well cuz I'm now posting this in commemoration of me getting the Special Ending in Chapter 8 for the first time. Though my only complaint was that Croix was put to sleep so he and Prier couldn't share in the experience like I wanted.


End file.
